conversations with Georgie

Georgie " I don't have any sisters"

Me: "Do you want a sister?"

Georgie: "Naaaaaaa"

conversations with Oliver

Oliver "I wish I was 74 years old"

Me " really? why 74?"

Oliver " because then I would be sooo old, old enough to drive a tank"

Me "yes you would"

salty rain

because pure joy, who doesn't need a little of that?

salty rain! the best!

conversations with Oliver

on our way into town this morning Oliver says to me:

" are those giraffes on your shirt?"

me: "Yes, do you like it?"

 "I don't really like giraffes"

 "so you don't like my shirt?"

"not really"

live a kick-ass life

because sometimes we need a reminder...

Charles Bukowski's top 10 tips for living a kick-ass life!

read the full article here

1. Don’t settle.

2. Love yourself.  

3. Live life to its fullest.

4. Don’t fear pain, without it, you can’t experience happiness.

5. Be your own unique self and shamelessly express it in all you do.

6. You’re stronger than you think.

7. Don’t fear death.

8. Have confidence in yourself.

9. There are much worse things than loneliness.

10. Life happens, don’t always take it so seriously.

make it stop

so it's snowing again today...

seriously though I won't ask for the amazing March temperatures we had two years (see pic below),

but please stop snowing. just stop

35 weeks pregnant with Lady G, 

can't believe our little firecracker is going to be TWO in less than a month

i just busted a gut

this article slayed me, honestly its so hilarious(ly true!).

thankfully my kids are too young to jump on the bandwagon of exploited holidays but I feel it coming. 

Oliver is already commenting on this toy or that one, we don't have cable or satellite so he doesn't see commercials at our house but of course everyone else we know does... 

this article is a hysterical reminder to everyone to bring the holidays down a notch!

lip sync love

this is too good no?

I mean... Paul Rudd, honestly.

on a tuesday

(that feels like Monday)

and because sometimes we need to be more like Tim...

funnies

a little Tuesday birth humour

things you should never say to a pregnant woman

as I approach the end of this pregnancy and the glow from 2nd trimester definitely fading... 

I thought I'd share a list of things never to say to a pregnant lady. 

Actually some of these brought some serious LOL's, read the article here

“Was it planned?”

  Does it really matter? Whether it was planned or not, she’s obviously sharing the news because she’s happy and excited not because she wants to answer to nosy people. Questioning her decision-making is unnecessary (and kind of rude). What to say instead: “Congratulations, kids are great!” 

“Did you take fertility drugs?”

Getting pregnant isn’t easy for everyone and the struggle with fertility is emotionally and financially exhausting. When a woman is pregnant at a certain age or is carrying multiples, be mindful of the delicate story that may be behind her joy; intrusive questions just rain on her parade. What to say instead: “Do multiples run in your family?” 

“You look like you’re ready to pop!”

(What she’s thinking: What’s your excuse? I’m carrying a life!) Come on, women are self-conscious enough as it is and when she’s carrying an extra 20 or so pounds she’s extra sensitive about her looks (and everything else for that matter). What to say instead: “Do you know what you are having?” 

“Can I touch your belly?”

  (What she’s thinking: I don’t even know you!) Unless you’re a close relative or friend, this is just awkward for her. Just because a woman is pregnant doesn’t make her belly community property. What to say instead: “Wow, you look great! What a cute belly!” 

 “Have you picked a name yet?”

  It seems harmless, but trust us, she doesn’t want to answer this question and subject herself (and her partner) to your opinions. It’s hard enough agreeing on a baby name as a couple and input from strangers just makes the process more difficult. What to say instead: “Are you having fun picking a name?” 

“Enjoy ____ now because once the baby comes, you can kiss it goodbye.”

Pregnancy is an emotional time for a woman especially if it’s her first. She’s very aware that her life is about to drastically change. She doesn’t need you to suggest that she’ll never enjoy sleep, skinny jeans or a minute alone ever again. What to say instead: “Parenting is certainly full of ups and downs but it’s worth it!” 

 “You shouldn't be eating/drinking that.”

(What she’s thinking: Thanks Dr. Stranger, but I’ll eat and drink whatever I please and if you get in the way, you may lose a finger.) Pregnant women are well aware of their new dietary recommendations and restrictions and if you don’t trust she’s making wise decisions, keep it to yourself. What to say instead: “Boy, does that look delicious!”  

“I never had morning sickness.”

All pregnancies are different, so bragging to a mother who is sick as a dog about your lack of pregnancy symptoms is downright insensitive. What to say instead: “How have you been feeling? Any morning sickness?”  

“I was sick my whole 9 months.”

On the flip side, a pregnant woman doesn’t want to be any more terrified than she already is. Keep the horror stories to yourself. What to say instead: “Don’t worry, you will feel better soon enough!”  

“I was ripped open from end to end.”

 This falls into the horror story category. Like pregnancy, giving birth is different for every woman. And the fact is, most women don’t end up “ripped from end-to-end" — one bad experience shouldn’t set off panic in the mind of a new mother! What to say instead: “I had a rough experience, but not all women go through what I did.” 

“Get an epidural!”  

 Deciding how and where to give birth is extremely personal — it’s about what she wants, not what other people think she should want. Though hospital settings and epidurals are mainstream, not every mother chooses to go that route. Questioning her decision to do something you didn’t gives her zero credit for making an educated decision. What to say instead: “I decided to get an epidural because…but everyone is different.” 

But these have to be my absolute personal favourites from the article.....

• “Are you still with the father?”
• “When I told my boss I was pregnant (with my first child), the first thing he said was: “Are you going to keep it?””
• “Although I had been with my husband for nine years, my MIL had the nerve to ask if the baby was his.”
• “We were having our weekly ultrasound and my doctor didn’t say anything about the baby’s heart or lungs…instead, she said: ‘And there are his balls.’ Really? Is that the medical term?” 
• “I was working in a restaurant and attempting to seat some people, when they requested a table on the opposite side of the restaurant and said: ‘You look like you could use the exercise anyway...’”
•  “As a 44-year-old pregnant woman I often heard: ‘You know, the likelihood of Down's syndrome goes up as you get older.’ Nice, huh?”
•  “When I told my MIL I would be opting for an epidural, she replied: ‘I hope the doctor doesn't paralyze you, that would make taking care of a new born really difficult.’ Ugh, seriously?” 
•  “When I was seven months pregnant someone asked me if I’d ever considered losing weight.”
•  “My OB was concerned that I was measuring very large as my due date was closing in and said: "I just want to make sure you're not having a monster baby."
•  “I had someone tell me that they couldn't picture me as a mother. How do you even respond to that?”

 

  

20 things we should say more often

love this. 

talking to your kids

I just seen these youtube videos and busted a gut. 

Hilarious! 

check more of their hysterical videos on their youtube channel

I was an awesomer kid

If you haven't checked out this tumblr page yet, 

I highly recommend you do so. 

I nearly pee my pants every time I read it. 

i was an awesomer kid 

a mother's prayer

how amazing is this?

I love Tina Fey- this is hysterical and oh so true....

A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

 Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed. And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

wisdom

I'd say this lady looks like she knows what she's talking about...

"Don’t tell me what to do, and I won’t tell you what to do. That’s my motto. I have a lot of feelings about the decisions of my family members, but I don’t ever offer my opinion unless I’m asked. And that’s why I’m still invited to parties."

 HONY 

parenting fail

this morning was horrendous, 

not for any particular reason at first. Just some mornings are easy and everything comes together

 and some morning just don't. Cue today.

I start walking to the car with the kids, carrying Georgie, my lunch, diaper bag and Oliver's "train" bag that seems to make to trek to the babysitters daily. Halfway to the car it starts to down pour. Awesome. We scramble in, I climb in the back seat to try and minimize getting complete soaked. 

As we drive into town, the rain subsides so I decide to get a coffee at the drive thru, only for it to start raining and I mean like torrential rain, as I roll down my window. I get completed soaked, then the snotty girl at the window gives me attitude about getting a splash from the rain coming off my car. Yeah I know lady, the rain is pissing me off too, 

I don't need your attitude..... just my frickin' coffee THANKS!

Trying to get out of the parking lot is a total gong show and I mutter ' you of piece of crap' about some a-hole driver under my breath... only not under my breath enough because the super sonic 2000 hearing of my three year old picked it up immediately. You see three year olds are a lot like husbands when it comes to hearing, or more importantly selective hearing. They don't "hear" anything but the things you don't want them to. So after Oliver lectured me about using bad words all the way to the sitter's, he promptly told Kelly that I said ' piece of crap' and how bad it was. Then a fellow daycare kid and her mom came in to which Oliver immediately told them 

'my mom said piece of crap' 

So today- before the clock even made it to 8:00 am, I was the mom who said 'piece of crap'

Oh and as soon as I got to work the rain stopped and the sun came out. 

'piece of crap'

you win some, you lose some

Happy Thursday!

self portrait

also known as a selfie, 

but like many other moms out there I just realized I'm not in any photos. ever. 

So when I'm 100 years old and am strolling down memory lane

 it would be nice to see what I used to look like. 

(then again maybe not. Ha!)

Yes, I have alien hands. 

My older sister has mini hands and my younger sister and I both have freakishly long fingers. 

I also chew my nails (so gross) but I can't/don't want to stop. 

Hilarious-ness on a Monday morning

I watched this video clip on one of new fav blogs

and just had to repost it!

so, so funny! Enjoy!

stuck in the basement

I went out for lunch with an old friend yesterday

and this show was one of our favourites

this clip in particular.....

Click here to see the whole video.... so funny! 

What's the magic word.... "NOW"