mom on a wire

September proved to be a challenging month.

We've (I mean me) hit the 4 month wall.

Both of my kids were great sleepers for the first 3 months!

While others were experiencing grueling newborn schedules my kids easily slept for 4 + hours at a time. Not to mention the happiness high I was on, the sunshine and rainbows of a sweet new baby.

But then it hits. The 4 month wall, where sleep schedules worsen, teething begins and some dark clouds move in threatening to rain on my parade. Sleep deprivation officially settles in.

Guy was away for about 10 days during the course of the month so parenting a busy 2 year old, a 5 month old (and 12 year old dog) on my own, while working and NOT sleeping

made me feel like I was stretched pretty thin, anxious and stressy (it's a word... maybe?) 

We are on the roller coaster of two year old emotions with Oliver. And it is an intense ride some days! Ok, most days. He is sooooo particular about everything and wants to be oh so independent by doing everything on his own "my do it" or "only me" to be exact. Which is fine, great even except when it isn't working out and there's a screaming baby and then a screaming toddler and a mama who is losing her mind. Of course going on broken/non existent sleep means my "patience well"

is running a little dry to begin with.

And then there is Georgie Girl. She is restless. So incredibly restless.

Even when I hold her she throws her body back and forth, thrashing about with force.

She doesn't want to be put down but she doesn't really want to be held either.

She does want attention, my attention and all of it.
This little lady goes from happy to sad to happy in nano seconds.
Sometimes she even laugh-cries! Our breeding schedule of producing not one but TWO taurus children is really going to bite us in the ass keep us on our toes!

But then there are these beyond incredible moments each day when Oliver is big brothering (it's a word... maybe?) Georgie and she is beaming her toothless grin at him and I am a puddle of mushy love on the floor. My heart is fuller than full. Or when we are together as a family of four, playing and enjoying each others company. Oliver is chatting away to Georgie, giving her toys (her own of course!) and we just get to marvel at our beautiful children and it takes all the other icky stuff away.

I know that one day I'll look back at this time and have forgotten about the sleepless nights or the restless child and long for Oliver to tell me "I sit you Mommy"
or have my little Georgie Girl bounce and kick with joy when she spots me from across the room
(instead of the stink eye I'm bound to get during the teenage years).

It's on a good day, when things are running smoothly (ie Georgie is sleeping, Oliver is at daycare and mama gets to write a blog post while sipping on a hot coffee) that it is easy to get perspective but some days are just hard and some days (as my wise sister once said) "there are too many hours today"