as I approach the end of this pregnancy and the glow from 2nd trimester definitely fading...
I thought I'd share a list of things never to say to a pregnant lady.
Actually some of these brought some serious LOL's, read the article here
“Was it planned?”
Does it really matter? Whether it was planned or not, she’s obviously
sharing the news because she’s happy and excited not because she wants
to answer to nosy people. Questioning her decision-making is unnecessary
(and kind of rude). What to say instead: “Congratulations, kids are great!”
“Did you take fertility drugs?”
Getting pregnant isn’t easy for everyone and the struggle with fertility
is emotionally and financially exhausting. When a woman is pregnant at a
certain age or is carrying multiples, be mindful of the delicate story
that may be behind her joy; intrusive questions just rain on her parade.
What to say instead: “Do multiples run in your family?”
“You look like you’re ready to pop!”
(What she’s thinking: What’s your excuse? I’m carrying
a life!) Come on, women are self-conscious enough as it is and when
she’s carrying an extra 20 or so pounds she’s extra sensitive about her
looks (and everything else for that matter). What to say instead: “Do you know what you are having?”
“Can I touch your belly?”
(What she’s thinking: I don’t even know you!) Unless you’re a
close relative or friend, this is just awkward for her. Just because a
woman is pregnant doesn’t make her belly community property. What to say instead: “Wow, you look great! What a cute belly!”
“Have you picked a name yet?”
It seems harmless, but trust us, she doesn’t want to answer this
question and subject herself (and her partner) to your opinions. It’s
hard enough agreeing on a baby name as a couple and input from strangers
just makes the process more difficult. What to say instead: “Are you having fun picking a name?”
“Enjoy ____ now because once the baby comes, you can kiss it goodbye.”
Pregnancy is an emotional time for a woman especially if it’s her first.
She’s very aware that her life is about to drastically change. She
doesn’t need you to suggest that she’ll never enjoy sleep, skinny jeans
or a minute alone ever again. What to say instead: “Parenting is certainly full of ups and downs but it’s worth it!”
“You shouldn't be eating/drinking that.”
(What she’s thinking: Thanks Dr. Stranger, but I’ll eat and
drink whatever I please and if you get in the way, you may lose a
finger.) Pregnant women are well aware of their new dietary
recommendations and restrictions and if you don’t trust she’s making
wise decisions, keep it to yourself. What to say instead: “Boy, does that look delicious!”
“I never had morning sickness.”
All pregnancies are different, so bragging to a mother who is sick as a
dog about your lack of pregnancy symptoms is downright insensitive. What to say instead: “How have you been feeling? Any morning sickness?”
“I was sick my whole 9 months.”
On the flip side, a pregnant woman doesn’t want to be any more terrified
than she already is. Keep the horror stories to yourself. What to say instead: “Don’t worry, you will feel better soon enough!”
“I was ripped open from end to end.”
This falls into the horror story category. Like pregnancy, giving birth
is different for every woman. And the fact is, most women don’t end up
“ripped from end-to-end" — one bad experience shouldn’t set off panic in
the mind of a new mother!
What to say instead: “I had a rough experience, but not all women go through what I did.”
“Get an epidural!”
Deciding how and where to give birth is extremely personal — it’s about
what she wants, not what other people think she should want. Though
hospital settings and epidurals are mainstream, not every mother chooses
to go that route. Questioning her decision to do something you didn’t
gives her zero credit for making an educated decision. What to say instead: “I decided to get an epidural because…but everyone is different.”
But these have to be my absolute personal favourites from the article.....
- “Are you still with the father?”
- “When I told my boss I was pregnant (with my first child), the first thing he said was: “Are you going to keep it?””
- “Although I had been with my husband for nine years, my MIL had the nerve to ask if the baby was his.”
- “We were having our weekly ultrasound and my doctor didn’t say anything about the baby’s heart or lungs…instead, she said: ‘And there are his balls.’ Really? Is that the medical term?”
- “I was working in a restaurant and attempting to seat some people, when they requested a table on the opposite side of the restaurant and said: ‘You look like you could use the exercise anyway...’”
- “As a 44-year-old pregnant woman I often heard: ‘You know, the likelihood of Down's syndrome goes up as you get older.’ Nice, huh?”
- “When I told my MIL I would be opting for an epidural, she replied: ‘I hope the doctor doesn't paralyze you, that would make taking care of a new born really difficult.’ Ugh, seriously?”
- “When I was seven months pregnant someone asked me if I’d ever considered losing weight.”
- “My OB was concerned that I was measuring very large as my due date was closing in and said: "I just want to make sure you're not having a monster baby."
- “I had someone tell me that they couldn't picture me as a mother. How do you even respond to that?”
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